The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment

The Penner couple, authors of this book, are considerate, mature and caring in their attitude toward sex and communication. I once heard them in a radio seminar, and in that venue, they were as generous and compassionate as in their book.

If you are looking for sexy photos, you had best find a different book. The GIft of Sex is illustrated with several drawings as aids in educating men and women about their bodies. Despite the glut of nudity and sexual explicitness in movies and magazines, there is still a great deal of ignorance about one's own body, how it works sexually, not to mention ignorance about the body of a sexual partner. Sadly, most movies and written descriptions of sex are unrealistic about sex and orgasm, making it look effortless--no wonder there are still so many people who feel unfulfilled, or worse, that something is wrong with them. This book contains very useful chapters describing the sexual body, how it functions, and how to have pleasurable sexual experiences. Exercises are described for a person to do alone for self-education and overcoming ignorance and inhibition--this means men, too!--and also exercises for partners, in order to gain trust and learn about how to give and receive pleasure.

It may not seem hip or trendy to offer such practical advice, or ponder the spiritual aspects of sex, given what seems to be a very open arena of modern sex. I would submit that much of the spectacular talk in television or radio programs comes from an immature, rather adolescent attitude about sex, where one must brag about exploits in an attempt to attain some status in others' eyes. It's like teen-aged rebellion against parents felt to be authoritarian: let's see how far I can push before a blow-up. In other words, who are you having sex for, yourself, or the audience afterwards, lifting their brows over your exploits?

For those who have a mature attitude towards sex, or who would like to move in that direction, I recommend this book. Read it, learn from it, and improve your erotic and sexual life and imagination.


A gift of understanding   January 2, 2001
68 out of 69 found this review helpful

I bought this book as a last ditch effort to help me understand some problems I was experiencing with my husband. This book is geared toward understanding self as well as understanding one's mate. The book is also replete with references as to when a couple should consult an outside professional, and direction on how to communicate with one another to solve problems when possible. The Penners are great at reconciling Biblical scriptural facts with the understanding that each of us is human. They do not talk down to or above the reader, rather they speak in language that all can relate to. They include medically based drawings that help the reader understand how their body and their spouse's body functions. This is great for the newlywed who may not know, as well as the older couples who may have forgotten. I especially appreciated the various scenarios that relate the real experiences of real people that helped me to see that others really do have similar problems.

If you are looking for scripturally based help in marriage, but do not quite feel comfortable approaching your clergy about sex, this is the book for you. It will help to get you to the point where you can seek outside assistance, if needed. It helped me to understand that I did not need to divorce my husband, even though I felt I had exhausted all avenues with him. Rather it helped me to see that I needed to try yet again, armed with more information that was beneficial to both of us.


One of those books you don't forget about   February 15, 2003
E. Johnson (El Cajon, CA United States)
44 out of 45 found this review helpful

I remember reading this book when I first became engaged. My wife and I (we've been married more than 14 years now) went through premarital counseling and decided to read a variety of Christian books to help us better understand just what we were getting into. The Gift of Sex helped us to deal with some myths that we may have been holding, and it prepared us for the first night as well as the rest of our lives. While their drawings of the body can sometimes be pretty scary-looking, it was good for us to have a full understanding of what it was going to take to make our sexual relationship work. Not only do we have different bodies, but we also have different needs. Needless to say, we're still working hard to perfect the techniques, but I would say it's better for both of us to have the same understanding, which helps dispel many myths. I would recommend this book for couples to read together, especially those who are about to be married. It will be an eye-opener for many in an issue that is not very easy to talk about in front of other people.


A good, solid reference for those "awkward" questions   August 18, 2008
wifeandmedstudent (Memphis, TN USA)
8 out of 8 found this review helpful

My husband and I bought this book for our second anniversary, after trying some other books on the same topic that we did not like (one was too mechanical, another was too crass). In blessed contrast, we really like this book. It is able to be technical but at the same time draw in emotional and spiritual components into a healthy whole. It also devotes much of the book to "troubleshooting", helping to identify problems as well as steps toward resolving them. If you're wanting to learn how to discover better sex with your spouse, this is a great reference.


A must for all couples!!   December 13, 2006
Jasmine
6 out of 6 found this review helpful

I love how this book explains in detail the messages we get from society as well as from religious groups in regards to sex. All the assumptions I had while growing up about sex were rebuffed, giving me and my husband a clearer picture of intimacy. This one is a keeper!